I am Broken
by iALLIEgator
Summary: Summary:"This is the end." he says "No more Blair Waldorf, no more headbands, tights, those doe eyes and lips I love to kiss. No more.", he kept on pondering on the thought, so practically, what is life's purpose then? Can he live a life without her? Maybe. He'll try, he wishes he could, BUT what if fate wants it otherwise? A Chuck&Blair Story. AU, maybe OOC.(When Blair chose Dan)


A/N: Firstly, I would love to THANK everyone who has read, reviewed, favorite and even followed this story. As a first time writer, getting much reviews are heartwarming, they help and inspire me to continue. Secondly, forgive me for this delay. Life has been so hectic because of school. Anyway, I'm glad to share to you that I am now officially a 3rd year medical student, almost there to my internship. I'm feeling excited to be in scrubs once again but for a better purpose. I once said that I'd love to be as good as Meredith Grey with her clinical eye and all, but that's another story!

So this is a re-upload/update of the first chapter. I know it's been a while since I have updated this story. But the next chapter is done, I'm in the midst of editing it. But I promise it's longer than the first chapter. Also I want to thank those who have helped me improve my writing especially to** MegamiTenchi** and **suspensegirlinc**. If you haven't checked out their stories, you better! Coz they're one of the best CHAIR authors there :) Also shout out to ChuckBlair08lover and anjumstar check their stories too!

* * *

"This is the end." His teary eyes wide open as he stares up the ceiling of the lonely penthouse they once shared.

"No Blair Waldorf. No headbands, tight, doe eyes and lips I live to kiss. None of it exists in my world anymore." He keeps pondering on the thought.

So practically, what is his purpose in life then? When life with her was he ever thought of, the picture of a happy family that involved him, her and their future children whom they'll promise to love unconditionally. Visions of their once future come flashing to him. the what ifs and future portraits hanging on their penthouse walls.

"We were supposed to be inevitable Blair... Strong and forever in love.. What happened? "

"How will I live without you? Will I ever live without you?" That's a question that constantly comes to mind.

"Maybe…"He'll just have to work out how and when.

He feels as if his world is crumbling and there is no one who would care. He feels alone, back at the time when he didn't have anyone. He cannot sleep, not tonight. Closing his eyes, he let the tears run down his cheeks. Chuck never felt so broken before, until now. Yes, Chuck Bass cried, but only for Blair Waldorf, the only woman he ever loved – he will ever love to be exact.

He keeps on thinking about what he did for the last twenty-four hours.

Was it the right thing to do? Letting her choose between him and Humphrey and asking if she's finally happy? Or was it the most stupid thing I did? Is it for the best?

He thinks and he is so confused right now and all he can do is wallow and suck it all up.

He couldn't ignore the tears in her eyes as she looked back at his when she responded to his questions.

"I can't believe you Chuck! How many times do I have to tell you that I am not in love with you and I am happy okay?" She looked down the pavement, shook her head, sighed and look back at his eyes.

"Chuck, please, don't complicate things… I'm with Dan now.. and.. Can't you understand? I said leave me alone and I don't want to ever see you again!"

Her words were clear as crystal and watched her as Blair ran towards her waiting town car. Chuck doesn't know if what she said was the truth or if she was just lying to his face, but remembers it too vividly and contemplates if this time, she meant it.

All he wanted was for them to talk, or at the least an explanation of her hasty departure from the hospital just as they promised to finally be together and why everything happened the way it did.

"What did I do wrong this time? What exactly is it that made her run back and marry Louis? Why did she push me away like nothing happened? And for the worst part of this damn miserable life, why Dan Humphrey? OF all the people she could have run to, why him?"

He can't put a finger on the whole thing that is happening. No idea what to do next or how to fix this. Could it ever be mended? After all they have been through, is it really the end?

Chuck tried to sleep, but all he did was toss and turn. When it was clear he would be making no progress any time soon and insomnia was rearing its nasty head, he got out of bed and walked to the minibar near the window. He poured himself a glass of scotch as the tears began to fall endlessly from his eyes. All he wanted now to numb the feeling but even a bottle of scotch didn't seem to do the trick.

He walked to the window and looked outside over the high rise buildings and skyscrapers as the heavy rain began to pour as if in harmony with how this man in solitude felt inside. He stared blankly at the dark skies as he uttered his silent thoughts.

"What is life without Blair Waldorf?"

His only answer was… Empty. Life without her is empty. So is it still worth living?

* * *

On the other side of the bridge, the cold mist from the rain only added to the pain she felt inside her heart. Her hand fiddled with the necklace given to her by the man she ever loved truly and deeply. She smiled as her thoughts of their once fairytale love story rush to her mind. The queen with her dark knight and their perfect mini-me's running around their castle. But she knew she can't go back to him anymore.

Not in her present state.

Not after what was all said and done.

Blair continued to stare blankly at the heavy rain from the loft's window. The unbearable urge to cry was barreling down on her but she knew she had to keep silent, so she wouldn't wake Dan up on the other side of the room. Heedless of her determination to lose herself in the steady stream of the rain, tears ran freely down the face. She knew then it was the only thing she could do.

After a while, she wiped her tears away, told it's all for the best and allowed herself to sleep where only the happy memories they once shared together existed in her dreams. Where Chuck and Blair held hands, Chuck and Blair went to the movies, and where their love never seems to end.

* * *

So yay for this chapter. Next week I'll be putting up the next chapter and we'll see from there where this story will go. I plan on finishing this story before I write another one but I have a new idea brewing for our favourite couple. But as they say, one step at a time! I hope you R&amp;R this would really help me. See you next chapter! :)


End file.
